21 Awesome Interview Tips, Stupid

  1. If your resume is more than 2 pages long, it better be in hard cover and authored by Dan Brown or James Patterson!
  2. Please don’t fill your resume with fluffy sales revenue numbers. If I don’t know your industry, I don’t care. If I know your industry, then I’m not impressed.
  3. Writing a paragraph about your “qualifications” that aren’t licenses or certifications is the same as using 26 font and a half page title when you wrote papers in 11th grade English class… and it reads the same way!
  4. Adjectives are not Key Words.
  5. When you tell me you are a “relationship builder,” you are really telling me that you don’t like to prospect.
  6. When you tell me how much of a “closer” you are, you are really telling me that you don’t like to prospect.
  7. If you use Social Media as a replacement to cold calling, you are lazy. If you don’t use Social Media as a supplement to cold calling, you are stupid.
  8. If you no-call, no-show for an interview, you are not only wasting my time but you are taking someone else’s opportunity from them. Karma’s a b***h. Just sayin’.  
  9. If you are going to be late to an interview, just keep driving and be really early for your next one because you aren’t getting this job!
  10. Your boy band called, they want their 5 o’clock shadow back. Shave for an interview!
  11. If I’m not important enough to bring your resume to a job interview, then you are not important enough for me to care what’s on it.
  12. If you don’t bring your resume to a job interview, I am just going to make stuff up.
  13. Unless that phone call is the job offer you really wanted, then leave your phone in the car because you won’t be getting this job!
  14. If you put your phone or car keys on my desk I am just going to assume they are mine and begin to thumb through your photos.
  15. Name dropping on an interview is a great way to help me remember later that I didn’t like you.
  16. If you don’t wear a tie to a job interview I am just going to assume that’s a noose around your neck because you just hung yourself.
  17. When asked what you are looking for, let’s just assume that I know you want a “Stable company with growth opportunity.” It pretty much goes without saying that you don’t want a big glass ceiling at a company that will probably go out of business and fail to pay you commissions.
  18. We don’t hire managers. We promote them.
  19. Ladies, I’ll never assume to know how to tell a woman to dress but if you wear it to a club, don’t wear it to an interview.
  20. If more than 3 girls in the office will stare daggers at you when you walk in, don’t wear it to an interview.
  21. If your first question to me is “What is the salary?” then the answer will be NOTHING because you aren’t getting hired.  

– Nick Klingensmith, Director of Sales & Personnel Development
Follow me @theBGexperience

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